When I Want to Be Alone

“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:

‘Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’”

                                                                                                Ephesians 5:13-14

The other day when I picked up my nephew from school, I asked him how his day was.  He replied, “It was okay, until recess.” 

“What happened at recess,” I asked.

“Well, I just wanted to be in the shade. But when I was in the shade, the sun kept trying to get in!”

I laughed at his response, and we quickly transitioned to another subject about cobra snakes.  But as the days have passed, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what he said.  Out of the mouths of babes, for sure.  When we want to stay in the shade, the Son keeps trying to get in.

I often isolate myself when I’m going through something difficult.  I want to hide in the shade and keep my thoughts and feelings to myself.  I don’t want to be around anyone else, I just want to be alone…in the dark.  Held captive there, by the prince of darkness, I allow the enemy’s lies to penetrate my heart and steal my hope.  I wallow in the shadows, not wanting to hear the truth or see the light and it’s a very lonely place. Slowly, it begins to steal and destroy my being, and I feel as though I’m dying. 

Isolation is a choice – even if done subconsciously.  When we isolate ourselves, we make a point to separate or distance ourselves from others.  This kind of isolation is very different from the desolation Jesus often sought to pray.  Jesus distanced himself to hear the Father, to meditate on His will, to seek guidance and reassurance.  His desolation was an act of dependence – dependence on the only One who knew his heart and his purpose - his sanctuary.  The isolation I’m referring to is not dependent, but independent.  It forces us to exist alone.  This act of isolation is more like a prison than a refuge.

When we remain there, we become more self-focused.  We let our thoughts run rampant and negative ideas and words spew forth.  Most times, when I’m in this place, I try to avoid the light. The sickness inside of me convinces me to stay in the dark, and avoid the light. 

But there is hope, even here.  You see, when we find that kind of false security in our sickness – Jesus is the only one not afraid to reach into the shadows to reach us.  He moves into our darkness, and exposes our ailments – not to embarrass or shame us, but to heal us.  Sometimes, His light shines from others who are praying and reaching out to us.  And sometimes, His light penetrates our souls, so that the only way out is to accept and trust Him.  Because even though we try to “hide” in the shade, the Son is always trying to get in.

I don’t know where this message finds you today.  I don’t know if you are the one hurting in isolation, or if you are the one Christ is calling to reach out for others.  But I know our God is greater and bigger than any fear we face.  I know that while our circumstances and situations seem grim, it never changes who God is, or who we are in Him.  I am so grateful for the Light and truth He brings.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for reaching out to us. Even when we are lost and broken, you never give up on us.  Please Lord, don’t ever stop exposing truth in our lives. Help our ears and eyes to be open to those broken around us, and grant us the courage to step out in faith when you call us to do so. Be with those who feel alone, Jesus. Please continue to express your love for them in ways that reveal to them it could only come from You. 
I ask all of this in Your Holy and Precious Name,
Amen

Yellow Means Choice

“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight” Proverbs 3:21
 

My Gramma – yes, the same Gramma that made me try everything when I was little – once told me, “Yellow means choice.” She was referring to the stoplights at an intersection, but maybe this simple philosophy applies to other aspects of our lives as well.  How many of us really “mentally” stop to accept a yellow light or sign? Probably not too many.  Most of us, in a quick selfish act, make split-second decisions to run the light. Or we have become so familiar with our surroundings that we fail to even acknowledge the yellow sign along the road.

 

I know I am guilty of that.  I’ve been the one to speedily asses the intersection and push my luck to cross through as the yellow light shifts to red.  I think that in my quick evaluation of the situation, I have enough information to know best – to know I will be safe.  But how much of the situation can I really see?  In that split-second decision, it’s foolish to think that I’ve taken into consideration everything at stake.  If yellow means choice, what kind of choices am I making?

 

I think God continually uses yellow lights in our intersections of life.  Toxic relationships and selfish addictions are like yellow blinking lights, prompting us to slow down and exercise caution before proceeding.  Poor financial judgments emit an amber glow, advising us to deliberately slow down and think before we continue the transaction.  Each blazes yellow indicating that we still have a choice.

We can choose to ignore the signs and blast our way through life, or we can employ enough patience to take our foot off the accelerator and brake for the Truth.  And sometimes, when we take our foot off of the accelerator, we do “break”.  But God is right there, waiting to help us pick up the pieces.

I think God’s yellow signals are there to alert us, “PAY ATTENTION  - YOU NEED TO MAKE A CHOICE HERE!”  And then He leaves it up to us.

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
don't for a minute lose sight of them.
They'll keep your soul alive and well,
they'll keep you fit and attractive.
You'll travel safely,
you'll neither tire nor trip.
You'll take afternoon naps without a worry,
you'll enjoy a good night's sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
or predictions that doomsday's just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
he'll keep you safe and sound. (Proverbs 3:21 – 26, The Message)

Dear Father,

Thank you for your Spirit inside me.  Thank you for alerting me when I might need to make a decision, and help me to realize my decisions often affect more than myself. Please guard my heart, and help me to preserve sound judgment and discernment.  I ask all of this in Your Holy Name.
Amen

Cleaning Up the Poop - by Kimi Miller

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24


It was that time again.  Time to clean up the poop in the backyard.  With three dogs, you can imagine how much I look forward to this.  For a long time, we used a shovel to pick it all up, but a few years ago, I bought one of those pooper-scoopers from Wal-mart, and let me tell you – the best $10 I ever spent!  With a simple squeeze of the handle, the two claws grab and lift up the mess my dogs left behind.  Awesome!  But as easy as the pooper-scooper makes the job, it’s still a stinky, sweaty job – especially when it’s 100 degrees outside.

This weekend, I noticed how the drought had caused the grass to become brown and flat.  Without the lush green grass, the little “piles” where much easier to see and pick up.  As I worked across the yard and the sweat began dripping down my back, I realized picking up the poop in my backyard was a lot like cleaning up the poop in my own life. 

When the grass in green and full, the poop is still there, it’s just harder to see. Hidden beneath the tall abundant blades, it’s often not discovered until stepped in.  But during this season of drought, there’s really no place for it to hide – it’s pretty obvious where the poop lies, and when it’s time to clean it up. 

What if that’s the point of the seasons in our own lives?  What if the “drought” seasons are God’s way of helping us to see the “messes” in ourselves?  Not so we feel overwhelmed, but so we can truly see the spots that need to be cleaned up?  Maybe these are the ones we were trying to hide beneath our own blades of grass, or maybe spots of which we aren’t even aware.

In David’s psalm, he asks God to search his heart – to test him and know his thoughts, and to see if there is any offensive way in him.  David’s desire was to be close to God, to rid his heart of anything that would keep him from God’s presence.  He asks God to lead him in the way of everlasting.

If our desire is like David’s – to be close to God – must we not also ask God to reveal to us anything that is offensive?  To search us and know us, and reveal to us things we must confess to Him?  Must we not also be confident of this, that he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6)?  For our God is good and faithful.

The Spirit does not reveal to us areas in our lives that we need to change, He reveals areas in our heart that God wants to change.  Areas that can only be “picked up” by Him.  Our job is to confess those things to Jesus and ask Him for the strength to overcome.  It is only by His power, grace, and mercy that the “messes” are cleaned up. 

Seasons of drought can be some of the most difficult seasons in our life.  But if the drought reveals the things keeping me from a flourishing relationship with my Savior, I understand the “reason for the season”.  Maybe it’s during those times that God is using a “pooper-scooper” in me and at the end of the season, I can thrive and bloom for Him, with nothing hiding underneath.

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for dying for my sins.  Thank you for your gentleness and patience.  Please help me to see those things that need to be “cleaned up” in my life.  Help me to overcome and trust in You.  Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
In Your Precious Name,
Amen