“Are
you kidding me? There is no way I’m
going to forgive her, not after what she did!
She doesn’t care about me. She
only cares about herself. She’s so
selfish and self-absorbed. She doesn’t
think about anyone else!” Grumbling, I slammed the car door, revved the engine,
and pulled out of the driveway.
I’d been down this street before, and I
knew where I was going. Turmoil, exit
5. Frustration, 2 miles ahead. Anger, next right. Hurting, straight ahead. But even knowing what lie ahead, I drove
on.
Have you ever been on this road? My guess is you have. In fact, maybe you’ve been down this road so
many times, you know all the shortcuts - you bypass all the exits and stops,
and race full speed ahead. You drive on
– overanalyzing the situation, digging, searching and finding every piece of evidence that convinces yourself you were
right and they were wrong. You grip the
steering wheel tighter, refusing to relinquish any forgiveness to someone so
undeserving.
“Why should I always have to be the one
to ‘give in’? It’s not fair!”
Sound familiar?
Please tell me I’m not the only one
driving down this highway of resentment.
It’s such a difficult road to travel; I’d hate to think I’m alone. I
mean, what is it that drives us to un-forgiveness? What pushes us on into this blurry rush of madness?
And why does it take so much energy to keep the wheel straight – towards
the hurting? It’s almost as if we want to naturally pull off this deadly road.
Maybe we are pulled to forgive because somewhere
in our soul we know it’s what God is asking of us. “Forgive as I have forgiven
you.” When we resist forgiving others,
we are really resisting obedience to God.
We fall victim to the enemy and the trap he’s set before us. Instead, we drive on, furiously, by-passing any
exit or chance of a u-turn and exhausting ourselves in the process.
But what if instead, we decide to not get on that road of
un-forgiveness? What if instead of
taking the right turn towards anger and the road of hurt, we took the correct turn?
I pondered this idea for a while,
loosening my grip on the wheel. I
checked my speed…83 mph. I glanced up in
my rearview mirror to see how far I’d gone.
It’s a miracle I didn’t hit anyone else in my manic rage. I knew it was
time to turn around, and to make things right.
I slowed down, and signaled my exit.
Even if I didn’t start off on the right road, it didn’t mean I couldn’t
find my way back. And that’s where I
needed to go. Back to forgiveness, back
to God, and the grace He bestowed unto me.
Dear
God,
Thank
you for your forgiveness. Please help me
to forgive others, especially when it’s not easy. When I can’t find it in my own heart, can you
please love them for me? Thank you for your grace; please help me to share that
with others.In Your Name,
Amen
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